They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
