did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
