If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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