My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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