Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
