No awkward lesbian experiences without me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize