i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
