If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
