The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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