the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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