Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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