Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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