If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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