lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize