Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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