ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
