how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
