we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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