are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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