All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
