another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
