I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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