it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
