so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
