I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
