i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
