I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
