ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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