Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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