Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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