East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
