im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
