I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize