I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
