I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
