my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
