You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize