Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
