You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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