Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
