You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
