Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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