How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
