fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
