so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
