it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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