I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
