someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
