can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
