Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize