if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
His hands were made for my vagina.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
