Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I bet he comes in French.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
