last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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