Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
