i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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