its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize