You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
