How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
