I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
