My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
