I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
