Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well you can't waste a boner
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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