I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Randomize
