I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
