I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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