I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
