Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
