tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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